This is the first blog I have written about my health in quite a long while. Which is good! Because “I feel fine” does not make for riveting blog material. And I’ve been feeling really good for a really long time.
But there’s this twitch…
I’m not sure “twitch” is the right word. “Tremor”, “Tic”, that sort of thing. I am officially diagnosed with a hemifacial spasm. According to the Mayo Clinic:
Hemifacial spasm is a nervous system disorder in which the muscles on one side of your face twitch involuntarily. Hemifacial spasm is most often caused by a blood vessel touching a facial nerve, but it may be caused by a facial nerve injury or a tumor, or it may not have a cause.
If I were a betting man, I’d wager that one of the, oh, 72 different times I’ve tripped and fallen on my face in the last 10 years resulted in some kind of nerve injury or tumor. In my case the spasm is on my left side and basically surrounding the corner of my mouth. When my spasm spazzes, it is extremely difficult for me to speak clearly. But hey! It’s not like I have to do that for a living or anything. I’ve had this for going on three years and it really is challenging sometimes.
Several months back I started taking botox treatments for the condition. And they do help. They don’t eliminate the spasm completely…they just reduce its intensity by somewhere from 50 to 60%. Also, they make my face fall apart. After I get a treatment I suffer from “facial drooping”, which sounds hilarious but in reality makes people think you had a stroke. “Oh come on, Wenty,” you say. “It can’t be that bad.” The first time I saw my physician with “facial drooping” he scheduled an MRI for me. Because he thought I had a stroke.
Now, this is difficult for me to talk about but the fact is, I know I’m one homely looking piece of work. Even when both sides of my face line up equally it’s not pleasant. But when the droop happens, dear sweet Jesus, I can barely stand to look at myself in the mirror. I’m self-conscious about it. And I know that’s stupid but I can’t help it.
Anyway, today I talked to my physician about the botox, and other options. He presented one other option: surgery. Nobody here in the panhandle does that kind of surgery so it would be a Colorado thing. And probably obscenely expensive, even with the insurance. And not walk-in-the-park surgery. From the good people of the Mayo Clinic:
In this surgery, your surgeon makes an opening in your skull and opens the covering of your brain (dura) to expose the facial nerve as it leaves the brainstem.
Hotchi motchi.
Well, I made another appointment for botox. I skipped my last appointment because I wanted to talk to my doc about other options first, and the spasm has been especially jerky/spazzy/ticcy/awful the last few weeks. I guess that proves the botox does help. And if the day comes that botox stops being effective, I’ve got that delightful surgery as a back-pocket option. The facial drooping is temporary, incidentally. But I get the treatment every three months so…perhaps “temporary” isn’t the word.
I did get some good news at the doctor appointment today. I am still within a “healthy” weight for my height. At 135 lbs, this is almost certainly the most I’ve weighed since my ‘fat Elvis’ period in 1993. But hey! If the chart says “healthy”, that’s good enough for me! I will look forward to a guilt-free chocolate donut bender the first time I look in the mirror and see a split-level face.